I’m a light sleeper, a very sensitive one. Unless I feel completely at ease I don’t ever let myself fall deeply into that blissful rest. It’s a terrible affliction for someone who has not slept in her own bed for 3, going on 4 years now. Most of the times I’m tired from lack of sleep and I suppose I’m usually a bit cranky, especially if my yoga practice hasn’t been consistent. My body knows it needs to rest, but my brain is in fight or flight mode. After living on the road for 3+ years I’ve still not mastered the art of surrendering to my desperate need to replenish. I’m never able to sleep on airplanes, I jump and wake up at the tiniest stirring in a room, I’m a tired ball of mess for at least a week when I arrive at a new place and my body is foreign to its surroundings.
So it’s no surprise to me that I should be wide awake at 2AM even in this idyllic paradise where I have no worries or concerns about anything. But here, rather than tossing and turning for hours on end being anxious about not falling asleep, I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have the night sky to keep me company.
View from my bed.
Not only is my room lined with floor to ceiling windows, there is absolutely no light pollution here since there isn’t a soul to be found for miles. What lies ahead of me as I look out beyond my bed is the endless sea and the stars that rise from the deep dark horizon. Last night when I couldn’t sleep, I stepped outside to be enveloped by the twinkling lights that surrounded me from every direction. I stood there under a dome of sparkling stars. I truly felt like a speck of dust in eternity. It was wonderfully moving.
S & E tell me that it should be raining here right now but for two days we’ve had the most glorious weather. This morning during my practice I spotted a pair of toucans in a palm tree just a few feet away. I still can’t believe I saw them. If S. hadn’t been with me, I would have thought it was a dream. I stopped what I was doing and just stared and admired. Their long hooked beaks were the color of unripe bananas. I saw a flash of bright red unfurl when they took flight. I told E. that I feel as if I’m in a National Geographic documentary. But this particular nature program ends with me sipping a delicious glass of Cav Sauv and enjoying a giant bowl of lobster Fra Diavolo- yup, that’s what we actually had this evening for dinner.
How incredibly lucky am I? I would gladly give a dozen more sleepless nights for all the stars and the beauty that I find myself in…